So, I’ve been MIA…but, for good reason.  Y’all know that when I disappear, it’s because something’s up.  You do know me well, don’t you?  First, let me get weeks 20 and 21 out of the way (sans my typical stats)…

*Week 20*

*Week 21*

The 20-week appointment is the big one – the one where they measure every little tidbit of the little bitty’s bits.  From the valves of the heart to the kidneys to the brain; from the tiny fingers to the tiny toes.

Because of my miscarriage in August, we have been lucky enough to have ultrasounds every single appointment that we’ve had up to this point (6, 8, 12, and 16).  No concerns came up and baby looked healthy.  THEN week 20 happened and here we are – fresh off of another big blog hiatus.

Things could’ve gone better, but you better believe that they could’ve gone worse.

2 red flags were identified with precious Baby T. (this is where anyone squeemish or disinterested in pregnancy jargon should abandon this post and click on Facebook for the tenth time today, instead) – -

1. It appeared that my cervix was thin.  My awesome ultrasound tech and even awesome-r doctor just couldn’t be sure because of the baby moving so much and some shadows that appeared to be present.  A thin cervix could mean many things, including a cervical stitch, bed rest (like yesterday), and early labor.  Not ideal.

2. What was very clear is that our baby has a 2 vessel umbilical cord, aka – Single Umbilical Artery (SUA).  Neither Scott nor I had ever heard of this before, so we had no idea what this meant.  We learned that babies are supposed to have 1 vein and 2 arteries in their umbilical cord and our little peanut has just one artery. This occurs in 1% of babies.

ONE.

PERCENT.

Super.

5 longer-than-long days later, we had an advanced ultrasound completed at the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC).  We, thankfully, found out that my cervix is as average as Will Ferrell’s acting (but equally as lovable).  Disaster averted.  One, anyway.

Unfortunately, a new artery did not come into view during this ultrasound.  A 2-vessel cord, this baby has.  Most of the ultrasound results delivered good news. But you know we couldn’t walk outta there without some negative.  Such is life. Overall, baby appears to be compensating with what he/she has like a strong Costantini/Trottier that he/she is.  Baby is growing and so is Mama!

There are many risks for this baby, but this is also a significant likelihood that this baby will be absolutely fine.  You better believe that my Google searching has been on overdrive (don’t do it – it’s scary business), but I am desperate to know the possibilities.  Lots of things to keep an eye on over these next few months. More doctor appointments, more ultrasounds, more stress, more anxiety.

MORE PRAYER, MORE PRAYER, MORE PRAYER.

Did I mention that March 23rd was our first baby’s due date and also the five year anniversary of Scott’s marriage proposal?  Yeah – it’s been quite the roller coaster, kids.

We’re on the upswing now that we’ve had some time to process all of the info we’ve been given.  I turned 22 weeks on Tuesday.  I will catch y’all up with some fun (and less depressing) developments before week 23.  PROMISE!  Please know that we continue to feel incredibly blessed and excited for this baby’s existence and are CANNOT WAIT for his/her arrival.

Well, we can wait a little while…we still have lots of  paraphernalia to get!

THANKS FOR LISTENING and HANGING IN THERE!  
I’m back and have missed blogging SO MUCH!!! 

p.s. As always, I share all of this personal info as a form of a therapy, to keep loves in the loop, and to candidly share my experiences (no sugarcoating here, my friends).  You’ve all been there for us before and I have no doubt that y’all will be there for us again. 

Beach Count: 69   

High Temperature: 84°  

Oh goodness…I cannot stand that show on ABC.  Ask Scott.  He tries to make me watch it and I cringe.  Just cringe.

I’d like to believe that if I saw teenagers heckling an elderly man whilst stealing his walker on the sidewalk outside of the clothing store where I was shopping that I would say/do something to make them stop.  I mean – come on.  No brainer, right?

Guess not everyone would or else this show wouldn’t exist.  Uh-doy (FYI: this rhymes with boy – ha!).

Well, a real-life “what would YOU do” happened to me a few weeks ago and an even crazier one happened to both Scott and I just last week.  #whereisjohnquinones

Here is my story [insert Law & Order's "doink doink" here]…

Around Thanksgiving I was at my fav grocery store, Harris Teeter, when I found 2 twenty dollar bills on the ground in the frozen food section.  {We’ve all been distracted by ice cream flavors a time or two, no?}  $40 ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at in my world, so I thought someone would be teary-eyed and panic-stricken momentarily…because I know I would be.  I walked the money up to the customer service desk (über awkwardly as if they were actually grenades disguised as money).  I told the man where I found the money and headed back to get my frozen fruit frozen pizza.  A Harris Teeter employee apparently followed me.  She asked me for my name and number because if the money wasn’t claimed, they wanted to give it to me.  Wowzers.  I would never think of that.  So I left the Teet feeling good, having done the right thing.  I wouldn’t ever in.a.million.years think of keeping it for myself.  Never.  Ever.

Er…well, maybe.

Yesterday I received a voicemail saying that weeks had gone by and the money was never claimed.  They asked for me to call back or just come by and pick it up. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Except, could I really take it?  I mean, it didn’t really belong to me!

BUT, I did do the right thing.  Maybe this was my reward?

What would YOU do?

Here’s what I did…

I immediately picked up the money.  Thats right.  ::GUILTY::

The Harris Teeter employee thanked me, yet again, for doing the right thing.  As I signed on the line confirming the money pickup, I simultaneously wondered if I was also signing a deal with the devil.  I hope not.

Girlfriend got this Tyler Christmas scented candle…

So delish.  I could eat it.

AND this People Magazine to read while getting my hair did…

Can’t these Bachelor/Bachelorette peeps just make it work for me?!?!  Goodness gracious.  I’ve devoted a lot of my life to them.

Those two purchases totaled about half of my newfound fortune.  The rest is burning a hole in my pocket.  for now.

Should I donate the rest?  Probably!  Will I?  We’ll see.

For reals though, this would never happen in New York.  New York doesn’t return money to people who do the right thing.

Have you ever accepted a reward for doing the right thing?  Would you have taken the money?  Am I a bad person?  Do you think that I just established bad karma for myself?  Is $40 big money to anyone else?  Am I asking too many questions?

I’m a good person – I swear!

p.s.  Check out post #3  on Babycenter where I talk about our miscarriage timeline.  

p.s.s. Someone please teach me how to Twitter.  I’ve gotten some new followers and they must hate me (since I can’t even remember how to log in).  A short tutorial?  Cheat sheet?  Anyone?

Beach Count: 64  

High Temperature: 76° ← Oh yes, that’s right!

Southern Confusion

3 Southern Thesaurus entries for you.  I realize that I owe you.  (It’s been a while!)

Southern Thesaurus – Entry #10

North Charleston = Nort/Nor Charleston

That lil “th” means nothing.  I don’t know why, but it’s just the way it is.  I was shocked at first, but now you can consider me officially GUILTY.  I, too, leave off those pesky little letters!  I don’t have time for that nonsense  ;)

My favorite part of the Nor Charleston – the Tanger Outlets (from here)

Southern Thesaurus – Entry #11

Asheville = Asheville (rhyming with Ashehill – totally normal!) BUT…

Greenville = Greenvull (rhyming with “Greenfull”)

Very Southern sounding.  I can’t.  I just can’t.

BTW – there’s a Greenville in North AND South Carolina.  Just to confuse me.

Southern Thesaurus – Entry #12

Lightning Bugs = Fireflies

I haven’t seen any since we’ve lived here, so I haven’t heard much about them. However, country music has taught me this thesaurus entry (thanks, old school Faith Hill).

(from here)

I have no explanations for the above entries.  Just wanted to share!  =)

THANKS! 

Check out my second Babycenter blog by clicking here.  4 more to come.

Thank you for all of the positivity and supportive comments.  They mean the world to me. ♥

Seriously.

My heart is full.

Asheville blog tomorrow…promise!!!

GO GIANTS!!!

p.s. Johnny T. is here and Jon C. will be here in about 24 hours.  Do I really have to work tomorrow?!

p.s.s. The weather has been unreal…so beautiful!!!  

Beach Count: 64  

High Temperature: 73°

As most of you know, I had a miscarriage in August.

I know…I’m weird…I talk about it.

Although I don’t buy the whole “everything happens for a reason” bologna, I do believe that good can come out of even the worst of situations.  Although good may not be great, it’s better than bad.  You get me?  I knew that you would!

What’s the good, you ask?  Well, I consider helping others as good….I hope to do just that.

Since having a miscarriage is a seriously taboo topic (who knew?  trust me – I’ve found out that it is), I’ve had a hard time finding anyone with whom to relate. I’m a big blog follower and I found that there’s not much out there about women’s personal miscarriage experiences.  Seeing as miscarriages are incredibly common…this made me incredibly annoyed.  As we all know, not talking about particular taboo issues breeds shame.  like a weed.  and I am not having it.

[Here comes the good.]

My first blog just went live as a guest blogger on Babycenter.com [enter goosebumps - this is kind of a big deal for me!].  There will be 6 posts altogether over the next few weeks where I talk candidly about the devastating ins and outs of enduring a miscarriage…from finding out, to what it’s been like to go through, and finally to where we hope to go from here.

Please check out the first post and follow our journey.  Maybe this opportunity will turn into something non-guestlike.  A girl can dream!!!  

Thank you for all of your positivity and support.  I love my blog family!

p.s. The brother in-law comes in 3 days; the brother in 5!  Check out our forecast =)

p.s.s. Congrats to one of my best friends, Kristen, on her new baby girl Caroline Emily!!!!!!  ♥

Beach Count: 64  

High Temperature: 79° 

10 years ago today – on the morning of September 11th, 2001 – I was at the funeral of one of the greatest people I have ever met.  Sudden…and at just 19 years old…I couldn’t think of any way that day could get any worse.

While walking into the funeral, my I-can’t-believe-this-is-actually-happening haze prevented me from really hearing the whispery murmurs about some plane hitting a building in NYC.  Preceding the homily, the priest mentioned keeping those at The Capital and in NYC in our thoughts and prayers.  My ears perked up.  At this point, it was obvious that something big was happening outside of this church (and our immediate and overwhelming sadness).  But how bad could it be?

Fast forward to our long and painful car ride to the cemetery and listening to first-hand accounts on AM radio.  Never mind the 18 missed calls and voicemails on all of our cell phones.  It sounded so crazy and horrible, but the enormity of the situation was not truly understood until my already swollen eyes saw the now familiar images of horror on the television screen.

Coincidence or fate?  My dear friend was needed in heaven to receive all the precious souls risen on that day.  His smile and humor may have been needed more in heaven than on earth on that day (as much as we in the church may have felt otherwise).  Coincidence or fate?  I don’t know.

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On July 15th, 2011 – my parents closed on their townhouse as our neighbors here in Charleston, SC.  Also on that day, we found out that I was pregnant…we were going to have a baby.  All of our dreams were coming true.  My due date was to be March 23rd, the same day that Scott proposed to me in 2007.  Coincidence or fate?  I was sure it was fate.

On August 16th, at just 9 weeks in, we learned that we had lost our little miracle. Three days later, I was receiving intravenous anesthesia for surgery – still digesting the news of this unwelcome detour on our journey to parenthood.  No longer pregnant nor hopeful nor steady.  Coincidence or fate?

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Today – on the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 –  was our first day back to church since our devastating misfortune.  I still wasn’t sure that I was emotionally ready.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that this was actually thee perfect day.  If September 11th isn’t the day to suck it up and be thankful for what you DO HAVE, I don’t know what day is.

Church was packed and I fought tears throughout.

I’m glad I went.  I needed it.

The gospel reading and homily were about forgiveness.

Coincidence or fate? 

*********************************

Following church, we went to church again.  Well, my church.  The place where I feel the most spiritual and at ease and thankful.  That church for me is the beach.

Living at the beach…coincidence or fate?

I’m sure of the answer to that one – absolute, pure and simple - FATE.

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I’m not the “why me” type.  I can look at the big picture and understand that life is “about the journey.”  That we all go through a series of ups and downs and ins and outs and that it’s about how we handle those situations and what we learn from them that matters most.

That better days are ahead for us.  That when we eventually hold our child in our arms that it’ll all somehow make sense.

But for now, I’ll work on forgiveness.

 One of our fav. new songs – look up the lyrics

R.I.P. Nick Albanese…miss you everyday.

Love to friends and family who have supported Scott and I through these unbearably tough last few weeks.  The flowers, cards, texts, e-mails, and hugs (virtual and literal) have meant more to us than we could ever express.  We’re gonna be okay.

xo

Beach Count: 60

Pool Count: 18

High Temperature: 88°