How to Lose Your Mind in 10 Easy Steps {Pregnancy + Shingles}

On September 10, 2015 by Sarah

A compromised immune system

hello, Celiac Disease and [happily] sharing your body with a growing baby



hello, pregnancy and work



The perfect storm…of MISERY!

But if only it were that simple.


A joke, obviously!

So yeah…

How to Lose Your Mind in 10 Easy Steps 

Step 1: Be sure that your symptoms become unbearable on day 1 of a 3-day holiday weekend.  That way EVERYONE’s available and you will have NO ISSUES getting proper care.

Step 2: Convince the urgent care office that, just because you are 25 weeks pregnant, you do not need to go to the ER.  The pain is on your belly, but it is not pregnancy related so please HELP ME!

Step 3: Absolutely agree with the urgent care doctor when he says that the anti-viral medication will be enough.  You can deal with the pain.  You ARE, in fact, superwoman.

Step 4: Cry a lot for 2 days, don’t sleep, and encourage your boobs that it’s the PERFECT time to start leaking.  Just perfect.  (Sorry – TMI, but you shouldn’t be surprised!)  Especially because it hurts to wear a bra and/or a shirt.  Air movement from the fan hurts.  Shower drops?  You got it.  HURTS!  Knives of stabbing pain.  Good times.  Conclusion?  Not superwoman.

Step 5: Suffer for 3 solid days, and in turn, make your poor sweet family suffer, too.   Cancel fun weekend plans and don’t do anything productive around the house or in general as a wife/mother.

Step 6: Decide enough is enough and ask doctors for help/relief/more medication.  But which one?  Call your primary first and then OB.  Sob uncontrollably and feel like no one’s caring or taking you seriously (yes – I’m CERTAIN it’s not heartburn, ya jerk).  Wait for return calls.

Step 7: Wait hours upon hours for anyone to call you back.  Call them again, and get voicemails.  Try not to hit your head against the wall when a recording indicates that one of the doctor offices closes for two hours for lunch.  TWO HOURS?!  Are they personally going to the farm to hand pick the veggies for their salads, preparing and eating said salads, and then taking mid-afternoon naps before heading back to work?  TWO HOURS?!

Step 8: Deal with this situation for 12 hours.  Make, literally, 18 phone calls between 2 different doctor’s offices and the pharmacy to end the night with only 50% success.  Have 1 out of 2 new medications in hand by 8:00pm and feel like the entire medical system has completely failed you.  Lose faith in people and their word.

Step 9: Have another horrible night’s sleep, because the past 4 nights were so enjoyable you can’t get enough of that fun.

Step 10: Finally secure the last medication by noon the next day.  Laugh (the scary on-the-edge kinda laugh that scares people) when you hear that the issue all along was that something was wrong with the phone system/voicemail at the pharmacy.  Take the last what-dreams-are-made-of medication and feel much better.  Oh, wait.  Don’t do that.  Feel worse!  Think about making another doctor appointment tomorrow because maybe this isn’t actually shingles.  Or it’s shingles and something else.  Crawl into a ball.

And that, my friends, is How to Lose Your Mind in 10 Easy Steps!

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To be continued…

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