This Mom – The Hypocrite
You don’t think you’ll be that way or that you’ll do that thing (or that you’ll buy into that), but then ::listen up::…ya do.
If you’re me anyway…you end up being THAT Mom. the hypocrite.
And guess what, I’m embracing it. Being a Mom is a humbling experience that forces you to regret the judgment you ever impressed on other Moms. Because, lemme tell ya sister, you don’t know until you’ve been there!
Here’s what I’m up to as a 6-week-new Mom, doing the things I was sure I wouldn’t…
Pacifier…needed (dang!) –
I made it 16 days before we (along with Max’s pediatrician) decided that Baby needed to try it out. Luckily, he’s not obsessed…yet. The fact that it helps him to calm his little body when he gets himself all bent outta shape makes it SO worth it. [Don’t expect it to stick around for long, though – I’ve got my eye on the prize!]
Video Monitor…yup…bought one –
I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to be that Mom that stares at their child at every little sound (from arm flail to little suckle). Well, now, I guess I do. It’s peace of mind that’s worth it to me…for now at least. Thanks to a Groupon deal, we got one that didn’t break the bank (because man, those things CAN ABSOLUTELY break the bank!). We haven’t had a reason to use it yet, though, because of the next “oh no I di-ent” move…
Mr. Man is 6 weeks old and still sleeping in our room –
Listen, our bedroom’s downstairs and Max’s is up. It’s far and we’re not ready. Sure, we’ll miss being able to look over and see him at any moment (seriously, we miss him while he sleeps). But more than that, in the middle of the night we’re – well – TIRED! Let’s just call it a safety precaution for me and my already beat up body. He’ll enjoy his beautiful nursery soon enough!
Speaking in 3rd person…specifically, calling myself “Mommy” and “Mama” –
“Mommy needs to peepee”
“OH NO, Mama’s sah-wwweee”
“Give Mommy a second, bud”
“Dada’s getting impatient with Mama” ← direct quote
Ohhh, the pukey list goes on. I know how annoying this is. I annoy myself. But still…I continue. It just feels right!
My kid IS the cutest kid…ever –
Okay so I’m guilty of thinking this, but have not done the whole vote-for-the-cutest-baby-in-the-world (who happens to be MINE!)-so-we-can-win-this-contest thing yet. You’re welcome. [Side note: I am not being judge-y of my Mama friends who HAVE asked for me to vote for them. I’m sure I’ll get there someday. I’m just letting the Mommy juices marinate.]
I’ve become somewhat of a hermit –
It takes a lot to leave the house with a baby. It’s more my than Max’s issue…which I fully acknowledge and accept. However, this time RIGHT NOW is so precious that I want as much time at home as a little family as possible. The rest can wait. or shove it.
I’ve lost my “give a sh…00t” (and it feeeeels so goooood)! –
I wear a different version of the same outfit everyday. Yes, it’s a tank top and jeans. okay jeans OR pj pants.
I still wear
grannie Mommy panties 6 weeks post c-section.
I do my hair every other day (and it mostly ends up in a ponytail).
At least one boob is out. A lot. Sometimes I even forget to put it away.
I still have a LONG way to go in the “getting my body back” department. I’m not sweating it. yet. Slow and steady wins the race?
If you’re frumpy and you know it, clap your hands! ::clap clap::
I’m sure this is just the tip of the Motherhood Hypocrisy iceberg. Oh well – I love being Max’s Mommy and I’m learning as I go.
Acceptance is the first step, right?
Any Mommy moves that you swore you wouldn’t make…and then did to the fullest? I won’t judge you, I swear. Not anymore!
p.s. 11 years – never forget.
Beach Count: 77
Pool Count: 32
High Temperature: 83°