This Mom – The Hypocrite
11 Sep
You don’t think you’ll be that way or that you’ll do that thing (or that you’ll buy into that), but then ::listen up::…ya do.
If you’re me anyway…you end up being THAT Mom. the hypocrite.
Guilty.as.charged.
And guess what, I’m embracing it. Being a Mom is a humbling experience that forces you to regret the judgment you ever impressed on other Moms. Because, lemme tell ya sister, you don’t know until you’ve been there!
Here’s what I’m up to as a 6-week-new Mom, doing the things I was sure I wouldn’t…
Pacifier…needed (dang!) -
I made it 16 days before we (along with Max’s pediatrician) decided that Baby needed to try it out. Luckily, he’s not obsessed…yet. The fact that it helps him to calm his little body when he gets himself all bent outta shape makes it SO worth it. [Don't expect it to stick around for long, though - I've got my eye on the prize!]
Video Monitor…yup…bought one -
I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to be that Mom that stares at their child at every little sound (from arm flail to little suckle). Well, now, I guess I do. It’s peace of mind that’s worth it to me…for now at least. Thanks to a Groupon deal, we got one that didn’t break the bank (because man, those things CAN ABSOLUTELY break the bank!). We haven’t had a reason to use it yet, though, because of the next “oh no I di-ent” move…
Mr. Man is 6 weeks old and still sleeping in our room -
Listen, our bedroom’s downstairs and Max’s is up. It’s far and we’re not ready. Sure, we’ll miss being able to look over and see him at any moment (seriously, we miss him while he sleeps). But more than that, in the middle of the night we’re – well – TIRED! Let’s just call it a safety precaution for me and my already beat up body. He’ll enjoy his beautiful nursery soon enough!
Speaking in 3rd person…specifically, calling myself “Mommy” and “Mama” -
“Mommy needs to peepee”
“OH NO, Mama’s sah-wwweee”
“Give Mommy a second, bud”
“Dada’s getting impatient with Mama” ← direct quote
Ohhh, the pukey list goes on. I know how annoying this is. I annoy myself. But still…I continue. It just feels right!
via here
My kid IS the cutest kid…ever -
Okay so I’m guilty of thinking this, but have not done the whole vote-for-the-cutest-baby-in-the-world (who happens to be MINE!)-so-we-can-win-this-contest thing yet. You’re welcome. [Side note: I am not being judge-y of my Mama friends who HAVE asked for me to vote for them. I'm sure I'll get there someday. I'm just letting the Mommy juices marinate.]
I mean…!
I’ve become somewhat of a hermit -
It takes a lot to leave the house with a baby. It’s more my than Max’s issue…which I fully acknowledge and accept. However, this time RIGHT NOW is so precious that I want as much time at home as a little family as possible. The rest can wait. or shove it.
I’ve lost my “give a sh…00t” (and it feeeeels so goooood)! -
I wear a different version of the same outfit everyday. Yes, it’s a tank top and jeans. okay jeans OR pj pants.
I still wear grannie Mommy panties 6 weeks post c-section.
I do my hair every other day (and it mostly ends up in a ponytail).
At least one boob is out. A lot. Sometimes I even forget to put it away.
I still have a LONG way to go in the “getting my body back” department. I’m not sweating it. yet. Slow and steady wins the race?
If you’re frumpy and you know it, clap your hands! ::clap clap::
via here
I’m sure this is just the tip of the Motherhood Hypocrisy iceberg. Oh well – I love being Max’s Mommy and I’m learning as I go.
Acceptance is the first step, right?
Any Mommy moves that you swore you wouldn’t make…and then did to the fullest? I won’t judge you, I swear. Not anymore!
XOXO
p.s. 11 years – never forget.
Beach Count: 77
Pool Count: 32
High Temperature: 83°
Loved reading this!!! Let’s catch up asap!!! xoxo
Yes! xoxo
I learned something pretty early on as a Mom- Never say never! I swear when you say “I’d never do that…. blah blah” it comes back to bite you in the *****.
So proud of the Mom you are. XOXO
Thanks, Mom! I’m learning quickly to just roll with it xoxo
We all do what we say we wouldn’t…. Thanks for sharing…. Made me laugh. He is very cute
Thanks, Heids. I hope Jackson is loving Kindergarten! Miss you!
And you more than likely at some point said “my child will never behave that way” and they will at the moment that it most embarrasses you and causes you to feel absolutely horrified. I did it and oh was I wrong!!! PS you are right on target. Max first all else second. Don’t like it world to bad so sad it’s biology, get over it.
Oh geesh…I can see it now! I’m imagining it occurring in a long line at Target. At least I’ll be in my favorite place when it goes dowwwn.
i love this post! so honest. he really is so darn cute. i want to meet him!
Thanks, lady! You should come by the house on your lunch break one day…I’m just down the road!
Haha love this!! Especially talking in the third person – we all do it! No shame
I think the best thing to remember is that we all have our own parenting style that works for us and our little ones! You never know until you are there and figure out what you gotta do to make it work!
You got that right, Christina! I guess I’m not exactly the Mom I thought I would be…but not in a bad way, just a real way! At least it provides me with lots of opportunities to laugh! (31 days!)
That. Was. Awesome!!!!! And TRUE! Just a few months ago Carter had a meltdown over a big silly misunderstanding about dancing on the bus
(a whole other story) When I asked him what happened, he thre THE biggest fit EVER. So after what seemed like forever I said the words I would never ever say………”if you don’t stop crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about!” as soon as I said it, I immediately felt like a trashy mom. I mean really what the heck made me say that? Never again!
That was awesome and SO TRUE! A few months ago Carter and I ran into his bus driver after school. His bus driver jokingly said “do I need to tell your mom?” After we drove away I asked Carter if he was joking. Carter’s face immediately looked scared and began to cry. Well he cried and cried for what seemed like forever! When I exhausted every trick to make him stop bawling, I finally said (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) “if you don’t stop crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about.” I immediately felt sick to my stomach…..what was I thinking? Where did I get that from….maybe my last trip to Walmart? I really beat myself up about it and will NEVER say it again! Turned out nothing really happened on the bus…..he told me he stood up and danced when his favorite song came on
All the kid wanted to do was dance…haha! Don’t be so hard on yourself (something else I’m learning about). I bet it didn’t even phase Carter. You’re an AWESOME Mom! =)
Sarah,
Your baby is absolutely gorgeous. I was just thinking of you today after watching an old video of Anne struggling to speak. She is doing incredibly well now. Thank you!
Well, Anne used a pacifier for a while (helped a lot) and then went to her thumb. She also slept in our room for a little more than four months. At our old house, her room was on the lower level (we had no other choice), so I completely understand. It made it a lot easier for nighttime feedings and it just worked for us.
We have a pretty basic video monitor with a tiny screen, but it’s great and still works (and she is almost five). I think it’s a great purchase. When he’s older, you can watch him putting stickers on the wall in his room when he’s supposed to be napping. Only kidding…but I did see Anne doing that one day (and licking toothpaste).
Do whatever works – and whatever works for you is the best! Thinking of you and your darling baby!
I’m so glad that Miss Anne is doing well…tell her I kiss her and “hi!”
I’m thinking this sweet boy will be in our room for at least another month, probably two. Or more – who know! I’m not ruling anything out! That is too funny about what you saw Anne do on the video monitor. I bet it has to get more and more entertaining as they get older! I hope everything’s going well with your big life changes. Thinking of you guys! =)
Oh, you are so right. I am definitely guilty of being a hypocrite, too. I always swore I wouldn’t feed my kid junk for the sake of convenience. I would always have chopped veggies and fruit on hand. I mean, animal crackers and veggie straws are for lazy parents, right? Ugh, eating my words now! Mason totally lived off of junk this weekend. And guess what? He survived. I don’t think there’s any long-term damage =)
PS – you little guy is a doll. Glad you are enjoying every moment with him!
There are worse snacks than animals cracker and veggies straws – I’ll give you a pass! Haha. Listen – sometimes it’s all about survival. Survival and a full belly of whatever-the-hell-it-takes.
Thank you – Max IS a doll!
haha my son is 4 weeks old today and I feel the same. I usually don’t even wear jeans. Pj’s or yoga pants lol and it’s definitely harder to get out of the house…when I actually do my son looks cute and I’m lucky if I remembered to brush my teeth
The life of a new mommmy!!
I almost didn’t brush my teeth today, Reghan…and that’s the honest truth! The life of a new Mommy is cray cray! I hope all is well with you and your little one!!! =)
I love this post! You can be as hypocritical as you want, girlfriend. I think everyone has a learning curve when it comes to ‘mommy-hood.’ I’m sure the humbling days of realizing I might have been wrong in many of my own judgments aren’t far away, but I love hearing about them through you! And hey, listen, if J. Simpson can slim down after gaining 70+ pounds, you will be FINE! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself:)
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Jessica! I have a whole post coming about my post-pregnancy bod. Woah nelly – the truth hurts for this Mama!!! (p.s. I don’t think I’ve said “woah nelly” since 1992.)
He is adorable! And I know exactly how you feel. I have an almost 6 month old, and I have broken every single “I will never…” that I ever said. With baby # 2 on the way, I feel that I have a more realistic veiw on being a mommy. PS I love your blog and have been following for about 8 months now
I check daily for new updates on little Max!
THANK YOU, Chelsea! I have so much to write about so keep checking! But ::SCREEEECH:: back up…you have an almost 6 month old and you’ve got baby #2 on the way? YOU.ARE.WAY.BRAVVVVE!!! Congrats and thanks for reading. AND give me Mama pointers, please!
Hahaha well, I hope I’m braver than I feel. Baby #2 was a HUGE surprise. My hubby is in the army and he was gone for 6 months( missing the birth of our baby girl). When he came home it was a whirlwind of moving to a new state and acclimating to being a family of 3 again, so we werent as careful as we should have been. We found out about the new baby, and the very next day we found out that he was being deployed 10 days later. Thankfully this time around he will be here when the baby comes
The best mommy advice I can give you is to let your baby take the lead. My little girl(with a tiny bit of help) made her own eating schedule, sleeping schedule, and play time. I have the luxury of staying at home, but even if I didn’t, she seemed to mold into my life so perfectly. Aside from this nightmare called teething, being a mom is better and more amazing than I ever could have hoped for.
Also, he will change so so fast. Before you know it he will be out growing those giant 6 month onesies that seem impossibly huge right now. Cherish every second, and give yourself time to grieve. It sounds weird, but with every exciting change and development, your old baby is left behind to make way for the new one in front of your eyes. Give your heart the time to miss the baby that he was, just as you need time right now to miss the little squirmy baby that was inside of you. Letting yourself grieve what was, makes enjoying what is that much sweeter.
Some little tips that help: MAM pacifiers stay in the mouth better than the one from the hospital, teething tablets are a lifesaver, you can never have too many bibs or changing pad covers, mirrors are the best entertainment, and books books books! Babies love books, especially the ones with the different textures they can feel.